In the Dugout with Derek Turner
In the Dugout with Derek Turner
By Micah Rodriguez
Rising redshirt junior at California State University, Fullerton
When Derek Turner walked to the mound on June 11 for the Conejo Oaks, the three innings he pitched and five tickets he punched mattered far less than the 384 days it took him to get there.
Multiple knee procedures. Two cysts. A born spur. A torn labrum. Hospital visits that cost him 18 pounds and derailed his rehab. The road back mentally and physically challenged Turner in ways he never had experienced.
But when he threw his first pitch, all of the setbacks, every ounce of pain, the struggles, they all went away.
Turner's journey to get back on the mound started nearly a decade ago, beginning with a pestering knee injury in high school that snowballed into a series of setbacks he never could have anticipated.
For years, every step Turner took was painful. Beginning in his freshman year of high school, Turner developed patella tendonitis in his left knee. He had gotten so used to it, Turner simply began to favor his right foot with every step. What seemed to be a long-term solution quickly unraveled into a much worse problem.
Despite the constant grimacing, Turner was a three-year letterwinner in high school, highlighted by being named Pitcher of the Year and earning first-team All-Conference honors in his senior season, which earned him an offer from California State University, Fullerton.
His freshman season at Fullerton comprised of a lot of physical therapy for his tendinitis, alongside rehab for a torn rotator cuff in his left shoulder – he had successful surgery for his shoulder the summer after his freshman season. Turner faced no setbacks during the season; he made 19 appearances with eight starts spanning 36.1 innings while racking up 42 strikeouts.
However, in his sophomore fall, the pain worsened.
"I got into conditioning in my sophomore year, that's when [my knee] really started to flare up," Turner said. "I was having a hard time walking. It was just beat up. But it was pain I had dealt with before, so I thought, 'I can manage this. It's no big deal, I'll get through it.'"
An MRI revealed a partial tear in Turner's patella tendon, along with a 2.3 millimeter cyst. However, there was not enough time left for Turner to operate on his knee and be ready for Opening Day.
Even with a partial tear, Turner made 20 appearances in his sophomore campaign, including three starts, to the tune of a 6.65 ERA. He struck out 38 batters in 43.1 innings.
That following summer, the right-hander got a PRP injection in his knee. And at first, the treatment seemed to be working; his tendon showed signs of healing.
"Towards the back end of the summer, I was the fastest and the best I had ever felt with my knee," Turner said.
Yet when Turner arrived on campus his junior fall, he found himself back in conditioning. After taking the majority of the summer off from major physical activity on his knee, Turner pushed himself to get in elite physical shape.
"I was playing catch one day, and I took a wrong step or something," Turner said. "I tweaked it, and my whole knee lit up. The front, the back, the side, and it hurt for probably five minutes."
But after the five minutes were up, his knee felt fine. Out of an abundance of caution, his trainer wanted him to get another MRI.
Turner had the MRI at the beginning of September, and the results revealed a bone spur and yet another cyst. This one landed on a fat pad – a soft mass of tissue which acts as a shock-absorbing cushion and helps distribute pressure during walking. With each step Turner took, his tendons got caught on the cyst. At the end of the month, Turner had surgery to get the cyst removed and was on track for a January return date.
"For the first three weeks [post surgery], my knee was a bowling ball," Turner continued. "But I was actually ahead of pace for the first month and a half."
During this time, the hardest part of physical therapy was learning how to walk properly without favoring his right side.
"It was very tedious and frustrating at the same time," Turner said. "It was like, 'I've been walking my whole life.' But now I'm relearning how to walk properly. It wasn't very fun."
Then, in November, when Turner was about two months ahead of schedule, he caught a sickness. For about eight days, Turner battled a fever reaching 103-104 degrees and checked into the hospital twice, just hoping to get his body temperature down. Turner lost 18 pounds.
In the aftermath, Turner's rehab, which was previously months ahead of schedule, slowed to a halting pace.
"I couldn't put any pressure on my left leg," Turner said of the pain. "It felt like I was getting stabbed right through the kneecap every time I put weight on it. We had to relearn how to do everything in [physical therapy], which took another two and a half months."
The pain became ever-changing, never staying steady in one spot.
"It hurt every day, every day it was something new," Turner said. "I'd feel it in the inside of my knee, then feel it on the outside of my knee the next day. Some days it wasn't even the tendon itself; it was just right on the kneecap."
During these painful two and a half months, Turner learned a lot about who he was as a person. He was challenged in a way he had never been previously.
"I was very frustrated at the beginning," Turner said. "I was not in a good mental spirit. I was mad. I was contemplating everything."
In the midst of a whirlwind of setbacks, pain, and struggle, Turner found a silver lining.
"There were a lot of new things I needed to learn about myself to be able to show up the next day," Turner said. "I shifted my focus to [taking everything] one day at a time. You can't expect the result in one day. It's a process. They call it a process for a reason. I set many goals out there for when I wanted to be ready to play."
His first goal was to return in February. Then it was March 28. Then it was a mid-April series against Long Beach State.
"Those goals really helped me stay in check," Turner said. "Even though I wasn't making them. I was able to keep striving and working towards that to get ready to play and help the team."
Turner played catch for the first time in March and got off the mound for the first time the opening week of April.
After his first live outing, Turner had a difficult conversation with Head Coach Jason Dietrich. He was on track to make his season debut a week later against Long Beach.
With Turner's personal well-being – and remaining eligibility – in mind, the pair made the difficult decision to shut Turner down for the season. Dietrich didn't want Turner to push himself and risk facing another setback.
"I really respect him for opening my eyes to [the risks]," Turner said. "I was very tunnel vision on my plan, I would have done anything to play. [The coaching staff] had the respect for me and I had the respect for them to understand that their big thing was to focus on what's best for your career versus what's best for the team now."
With the well-being and longevity of his career in mind, on June 11, 384 days after his last in-game appearance, Turner took the mound for the Conejo Oaks, armed with an appreciation for the mere ability to be back on the bump.
"A lot of heartache and frustration went into [my recovery]," Turner said. "But after over a year of not being able to play in a game, I had one goal: Having fun and being grateful I'm able to be on that mound."
Turner took the mound in front of teammates he grew up playing with and his parents and grandparents in the stands, some of his biggest supporters.
"That meant more than anything to me," Turner said regarding his family being in attendance. "They're always on my side. They're so supportive. They're always pushing me to do the best thing for my career. If I need to go to [physical therapy], they're getting me to [physical therapy]. I had all the resources I needed, and the mental support around me to keep going every day."
Turner's mind was scattered while he delivered his warm-up pitches in the bottom half of the first. But once he threw his first pitch, a fastball on the outer half that the batter swung through, he knew he was fully back.
"After the [catcher's] throw went down, I found my focal point on the ground, got my mind reset, and I was locked in on the batter," Turner said. "Once I got that first pitch over, you're like, 'I know how to do this,'"
Turner went three innings, gave up three runs – only one earned – and struck out five in his return.
But the results didn't matter. What mattered was the 384 days Turner worked to put himself back between the chalked lines. It was the most fun he had playing in three years.
"I was out here being free, being myself," Turner said after his first game back. "I didn't take anything seriously. I didn't have any pressure on my shoulders to feel like I had to do well. I gave up a bomb, I'm not going to get mad, right? I was just trying to stay neutral, stay happy, enjoy it. My only goal for the day was to go out and have fun, and I accomplished that."
While watching his junior season from the dugout, Turner reshaped the way he analyzed the game – take things one batter at a time, one pitch at a time, process his results after the innings rather than while he is on the mound. But beyond that, he learned about himself.
"I learned who I am as a person," Turner said. "The discipline that comes with the rehab of doing stuff you don't want to do, but have to do, is very important. Even the stuff you don't want to do, and you don't need to do, but it's what you should do. I was on top of all that. Just being more accountable and disciplined is a good experience for me."
Those are traits Turner plans to carry over into every aspect of his life.
"Now I can work [those] into other aspects of my life," Turner said. "Whether that's my relationships with my parents, my friends, or later in my life when I'm married."
When Turner walked off the mound 384 days after his last appearance, he was finally playing the game he loved again, pain free.
How did it feel?
"Rewarding."